1 00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:27,027 FITZ: Relationships are complicated, 2 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,985 no matter what stage in the game... 3 00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:31,596 Banging, dating, marriage... 4 00:00:31,596 --> 00:00:34,817 banging someone you dated on the day they get married. 5 00:00:34,817 --> 00:00:38,690 Look at her: pretty little Ali Devon, 6 00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:42,781 concerned for my well-being, obviously reliving 7 00:00:42,781 --> 00:00:45,523 that mind-blowing orgasm I just gave her. 8 00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:50,746 So what if I'm on the lam for a murder I didn't commit? 9 00:00:50,746 --> 00:00:53,662 Everything's cool, and she totally wants me. 10 00:00:53,662 --> 00:00:56,404 We need to talk, 11 00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:59,320 and be perfectly clear about what this means for us. 12 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,584 Uh-oh... She totally wants me. 13 00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:05,630 Is there anything that you want to say? 14 00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:08,764 Um... 15 00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:14,552 I need to take a piss. 16 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,861 Committed relationships are for suckers at the best of times. 17 00:01:18,861 --> 00:01:22,517 With the cops on your tail, you gotta move fast. 18 00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:24,475 Don't get weighed down with extra baggage. 19 00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:26,173 Good idea. 20 00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:28,131 Listen, urinal cake, we gotta ditch Ali. 21 00:01:28,131 --> 00:01:29,524 What?! We can't do that. 22 00:01:29,524 --> 00:01:31,787 Sure we can. Just go back there and tell her 23 00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:34,311 she's gotta piss now, 'cause we're not gonna stop again. 24 00:01:34,311 --> 00:01:36,705 You know, it's funny... She just told me the same thing. 25 00:01:36,705 --> 00:01:37,793 Huh? What? 26 00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:38,924 [Engine starting] 27 00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:39,925 Fuck! 28 00:01:39,925 --> 00:01:41,057 Wait, Richard! 29 00:01:41,057 --> 00:01:42,754 Hey, I'm still peeing! Richard! 30 00:01:42,754 --> 00:01:44,800 Hey! Ali! Ali! 31 00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:50,936 Fuck. 32 00:01:50,936 --> 00:01:55,680 ♪ 33 00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:57,552 ♪ Without you 34 00:01:57,552 --> 00:02:01,991 ♪ I'd find my smile 35 00:02:01,991 --> 00:02:04,515 ♪ Without you 36 00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:07,257 ♪ I'd have won by a mile 37 00:02:07,257 --> 00:02:09,738 ♪ Without you 38 00:02:09,738 --> 00:02:13,307 ♪ Oh, life would be so grand ♪ 39 00:02:13,307 --> 00:02:15,265 ♪ Without you 40 00:02:15,265 --> 00:02:17,485 ♪ I'm half a man 41 00:02:17,485 --> 00:02:21,141 ♪ Without you 42 00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:28,148 ♪ Without you... 43 00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:32,804 ♪ Without you 44 00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:38,549 LARRY: Richard, we can't run from the police forever. 45 00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:40,595 We need to find Sonja now! 46 00:02:44,773 --> 00:02:47,036 I need eggs, bacon, and single malt. 47 00:02:47,036 --> 00:02:48,516 Richard, we can't afford alcohol. 48 00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:49,995 We'll share the eggs, and no bacon. 49 00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:51,997 You need to watch your cholesterol, mister. 50 00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:54,130 What are we? A couple of anorexic high school girls? 51 00:02:54,130 --> 00:02:55,958 Richard, we are down to our last $20, 52 00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:57,438 and we can't use credit or debit 53 00:02:57,438 --> 00:02:58,700 because we have to stay off the grid. 54 00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:00,267 Otherwise, the police could track us down. 55 00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:02,225 You are wanted for Sonja's murder. 56 00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:04,967 Our only recourse is to find her and clear your name. 57 00:03:04,967 --> 00:03:06,621 There is no way that I am spending 58 00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,144 what could be the last week of my life 59 00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:09,624 in jail or on the run with you. 60 00:03:09,624 --> 00:03:11,713 Come on! We're doing okay. 61 00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:13,105 You were gonna take a ride 62 00:03:13,105 --> 00:03:14,411 from that creepy dude at the rest stop. 63 00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:16,718 Gunther was a gentleman! 64 00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:18,589 Don't worry, Richard; I will do whatever it takes 65 00:03:18,589 --> 00:03:20,548 to exonerate you of these heinous accusations. 66 00:03:20,548 --> 00:03:22,898 All I need... is a clue, 67 00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:25,248 or a lead, or some, just, scrap of evidence. 68 00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:27,294 Yeah, well, make it fast, Nancy Drew. 69 00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:29,687 My handsome mug is plastered all over the news. 70 00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:31,123 It's only a matter of time 71 00:03:31,123 --> 00:03:33,169 before one of these mouth-breathers recognize me. 72 00:03:33,169 --> 00:03:35,998 Richard, don't be ridiculous. Nobody is watching you-- 73 00:03:35,998 --> 00:03:38,305 Except for... 74 00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:42,700 Holy fuck! Laverne! 75 00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:02,329 I never anticipated there would come a time 76 00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:04,200 when I wished you would speak. 77 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,636 It's fine. 78 00:04:05,636 --> 00:04:08,552 Oh, I see. Well, I'm so sorry to bring you much regret. 79 00:04:08,552 --> 00:04:11,642 Perhaps you too are merely adequate at intercourse. 80 00:04:11,642 --> 00:04:13,514 It's not you, it's-- I feel guilty. 81 00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:15,342 I barely broke up with your cousin, 82 00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,126 and the next thing you know, we're-- 83 00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:19,781 Next thing you know, we are making the beast with two backs 84 00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:22,218 sing sweetly from our loins. 85 00:04:22,218 --> 00:04:25,787 I can see him, looking at me... disappointed. 86 00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:29,921 Mocca-bear! 87 00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:31,401 What are you doing here? 88 00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:34,404 A vicious strain of Norwalk ravaged our vessel, 89 00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:35,753 forcing our immediate return. 90 00:04:35,753 --> 00:04:39,931 Were it not for this searing pain in my colon, 91 00:04:39,931 --> 00:04:41,803 I never would have learned of this treachery. 92 00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:43,805 Oh, I'm sorry! 93 00:04:43,805 --> 00:04:46,329 Please forgive me! I'll do anything. 94 00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:47,939 There is nothing to be done... 95 00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:52,292 Except to consume vast amounts of Gatorade. 96 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,468 You have lost many electrolytes. 97 00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:56,731 What? That's it? You're just gonna give up. 98 00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:57,819 You're not even gonna fight for me? 99 00:04:57,819 --> 00:04:59,560 Will you be quiet? 100 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,345 This man needs some rest, not your relentless camel braying. 101 00:05:05,130 --> 00:05:06,871 You're a fucking waitress? 102 00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:09,657 Sexual mysticism isn't exactly a growth industry. 103 00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:12,399 Here is where I am having a problem... 104 00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:14,096 You told me that Richard's shadowy figure 105 00:05:14,096 --> 00:05:15,663 is "closer than we think." 106 00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:18,274 Well, we have exhausted every resource at our disposal, 107 00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:20,189 and are no closer to a solution, missy! 108 00:05:20,189 --> 00:05:23,497 The solution is obvious, head cheese. She made it up. 109 00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:27,109 Right, 'cause I got nothing better to do with my time. 110 00:05:27,109 --> 00:05:29,416 You had me worrying about some bullshit curse, 111 00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:31,113 when I should've been worried about finding Sonja 112 00:05:31,113 --> 00:05:32,506 and squashing this murder warrant! 113 00:05:32,506 --> 00:05:33,507 You're actually worried? 114 00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:34,638 You're wanted for murder? 115 00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:36,336 You didn't know I was wanted for murder? 116 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,467 Some fucking psychic you are. 117 00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:39,861 I'm a little hit-and-miss. 118 00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:41,471 How about another go-around? 119 00:05:50,306 --> 00:05:53,440 LARRY: Ooh, Richard! Ask where to look for Sonja! 120 00:05:56,530 --> 00:05:58,314 LAVERNE: Oh... Oh... Oh... 121 00:05:58,314 --> 00:06:00,360 Oh... Cock-on-a-stick! 122 00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:05,800 "Cock-on-a-stick." What does that mean? 123 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,758 It means you owe her our last 20, Sherlock. 124 00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:09,804 What? 125 00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:15,723 Nice car. It's a rental. 126 00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,551 I never should've let you talk me into this. 127 00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:19,117 I don't have the stomach for conspiracy. 128 00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:23,905 Conspiracy? You proactively prosecuted. That's your job. 129 00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:25,428 I should've stopped you 130 00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,735 from putting that bloody knife in Fitz's trunk. 131 00:06:27,735 --> 00:06:29,563 I knew it was wrong. 132 00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:33,044 Chester, you didn't frame anyone. I make my own decisions, 133 00:06:33,044 --> 00:06:35,220 and I decided to plant the knife. 134 00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:38,136 Did you really think you could stop me? 135 00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:40,182 But I can't go to jail 136 00:06:40,182 --> 00:06:41,879 with all of the mobsters that I couldn't get off on mistrials. 137 00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:45,230 They'll make me get them off, and-- Oh God, what if I like it? 138 00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:48,146 Chester... give me your hand. 139 00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:52,586 [Cracking] 140 00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:54,152 I know you're pathetic. 141 00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:56,372 Why, you couldn't even keep your fiancée 142 00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:59,549 from fucking her ex-boyfriend on your wedding day. 143 00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:02,247 That's why I'm gonna make this easy for you. 144 00:07:02,247 --> 00:07:05,250 One word. If the cops come asking, 145 00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:08,471 deny... deny... 146 00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:10,647 deny. 147 00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:13,868 Okay, that hurts. 148 00:07:13,868 --> 00:07:16,740 Just remember... 149 00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:18,786 I'm the boss. 150 00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:30,798 LARRY: Richard, please, 151 00:07:30,798 --> 00:07:33,975 we've been walking for hours. 152 00:07:33,975 --> 00:07:36,020 My bovine allergy, 153 00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:37,587 mixed with that cheese blintz back at the diner-- 154 00:07:37,587 --> 00:07:38,762 [Belching] 155 00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:40,721 Pardon me. Richard, are you listening? 156 00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:52,950 There. 157 00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:56,563 This has to be it. Cock-on-a-stick! 158 00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:58,434 Oh, no, I hope not, 159 00:07:58,434 --> 00:08:01,524 because I saw a place like this in a horror movie once, 160 00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:03,221 and the farm was owned by cannibals 161 00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:07,399 who slaughtered travellers and then... ate them! 162 00:08:07,399 --> 00:08:09,314 Yeah... 163 00:08:09,314 --> 00:08:12,361 My cousin brought his girlfriend out here once to mess around. 164 00:08:12,361 --> 00:08:15,495 The police didn't find their mutilated bodies for a year. 165 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:19,237 I heard about that. Didn't he dismember them with a chainsaw? 166 00:08:19,237 --> 00:08:21,675 Worse. They were bludgeoned to death... 167 00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:26,462 with a chainsaw! 168 00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:29,596 Let's just rescue Sonja and get the hell out of here 169 00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:32,555 before our severed heads before some mutant hillbilly's sex toy. 170 00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:34,557 Richard, what if we find her and she's been dismembered? 171 00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:36,385 What if they're eating her as we speak? 172 00:08:36,385 --> 00:08:40,128 Wait here, you nancy. 173 00:08:45,786 --> 00:08:49,485 [Moaning] 174 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:12,116 Holy shit... Laverne was right. We actually found you. 175 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,599 Mr. Fitz? 176 00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:18,558 What are you doing here? 177 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,211 I'm here to save you... 178 00:09:20,211 --> 00:09:23,388 unless you've been abducted by one of those polygamist cults, 179 00:09:23,388 --> 00:09:25,347 'cause I could get behind that. 180 00:09:25,347 --> 00:09:27,088 I wasn't abducted. I came home to my family. 181 00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:29,569 Your family of lesbians? 182 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:30,439 I'm Amish. 183 00:09:30,439 --> 00:09:31,962 You are not. 184 00:09:31,962 --> 00:09:34,356 You never did listen to me. 185 00:09:34,356 --> 00:09:35,792 All those times I told you 186 00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:38,490 that I was on my Rumspringa to test my faith, 187 00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:41,581 to see if I was committed to returning to the Amish church? 188 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,714 I always thought Rumspringa was your safe word. 189 00:09:44,714 --> 00:09:46,803 You know, it still can be. 190 00:09:46,803 --> 00:09:50,024 I have relinquished the English ways, 191 00:09:50,024 --> 00:09:52,461 and returned to my roots. 192 00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:54,419 And you have to go! 193 00:09:54,419 --> 00:09:57,901 No, no way! I'm being framed for your murder, 194 00:09:57,901 --> 00:09:59,860 and since you're the one who ran off, you fucking owe me. 195 00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:03,211 You made me leave! 196 00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:05,213 LARRY: Richard! Help! Cannibal hillbillies! 197 00:10:07,955 --> 00:10:10,218 Olaf, put the pitchfork down. 198 00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:13,047 Sonja! You're alive! Thank goodness! 199 00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:15,049 Sonja, this English was besmirching our goat. 200 00:10:15,049 --> 00:10:17,704 I was not besmirching it. I was petting! 201 00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,619 What goes on here? 202 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:23,057 I'm sorry, Olaf. I know Larry from my Rumspringa. 203 00:10:23,057 --> 00:10:26,060 It is indeed a pleasure. 204 00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:28,149 I have to say, I find your culture fascinating. 205 00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:30,673 The humility, the abstinence... 206 00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:32,936 The cannibalism... not too keen on. Gotta be honest. 207 00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:34,851 We're not cannibals, Larry. 208 00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:38,594 You're thinking of the Mennonites. 209 00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:40,030 Richard Fitzpatrick. 210 00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:42,380 Call me Fitz. 211 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:45,296 I know all about you, Fitz. 212 00:10:45,296 --> 00:10:47,081 Your exploits, your wanton ways, 213 00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:49,823 and I will not allow you to corrupt Sonja anymore. 214 00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:51,433 I never twisted her arm... 215 00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:53,261 unless, of course, she wanted me to. 216 00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:57,091 Olaf is the best carriage-maker in the village. 217 00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:58,875 Sonja, piety. 218 00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:01,530 I just want him to know what a good husband you're gonna make. 219 00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:03,401 Husband? 220 00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:05,490 It is true. Sonja and I are betrothed. 221 00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:06,491 Oh! Congratulations! 222 00:11:06,491 --> 00:11:07,492 You can't marry this guy. 223 00:11:07,492 --> 00:11:09,581 Why not? 224 00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:10,582 Because... 225 00:11:10,582 --> 00:11:13,585 Because I need you... 226 00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:16,240 to clear my name. 227 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:20,549 So, you're not here for me, you're here for yourself. 228 00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:22,464 I should've known. 229 00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:25,467 All we need is a quick phone call, maybe a photo-- 230 00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:27,469 OLAF: No, there is no signal here, 231 00:11:27,469 --> 00:11:29,340 but there is a payphone down the road. 232 00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:32,996 Go, Sonja, make the call, so these English will leave. 233 00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:35,390 No. 234 00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:38,523 We limit our use of modern technology to one day a week, 235 00:11:38,523 --> 00:11:41,570 and I am done compromising my values for Fitz. 236 00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:45,879 We'll go on Friday. Phone day. 237 00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:47,445 In this case, we can make an exception. 238 00:11:47,445 --> 00:11:49,360 Oh no. No, no. 239 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:54,278 If Friday is phone day, then we will wait till Friday. 240 00:11:54,278 --> 00:11:56,541 So, what are the sleeping arrangements? 241 00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:05,942 LARRY: So, you're Sonja's brother. I didn't know she had a brother. 242 00:12:05,942 --> 00:12:10,642 There are many things about Sonja you did not know. 243 00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:12,775 I changed the straw, 244 00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:15,386 and the blanket is worn by our cleanest horse. 245 00:12:15,386 --> 00:12:19,390 So, where do I sleep? 246 00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:22,393 You're funny, English. I like you. 247 00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:29,357 How come every woman I fuck 248 00:12:29,357 --> 00:12:31,185 decides to marry a douche-nozzle? 249 00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:33,361 Well, that's why you want to stay until phone day: 250 00:12:33,361 --> 00:12:34,536 to win Sonja back! 251 00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:36,407 No, I want to stay to clear my name! 252 00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:38,670 If you win Sonja's forgiveness, you'll clear your name, 253 00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:40,716 and your soul! 254 00:12:40,716 --> 00:12:42,152 And mine! 255 00:12:42,152 --> 00:12:45,503 For stealing those dice, for breaking into Dot's house, 256 00:12:45,503 --> 00:12:47,375 for lying to the police, for stealing feet from a morgue. 257 00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:49,594 You're still talking. 258 00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,466 Let's do this, Richard. Let's go Amish! 259 00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:53,511 For Sonja, for ourselves... 260 00:12:53,511 --> 00:12:56,819 Our future [what's left of it], depends on it! 261 00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:00,605 Fine... but I'm not doing the beard. 262 00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:03,130 Amish! 263 00:13:08,396 --> 00:13:09,484 Good morning! 264 00:13:09,484 --> 00:13:11,747 What are you doing? 265 00:13:11,747 --> 00:13:13,357 What does it look like? 266 00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:15,055 We're trying to learn about humility and shit. 267 00:13:15,055 --> 00:13:16,491 You could never fit in here. 268 00:13:16,491 --> 00:13:18,449 I'll out-humble you any day of the week, fucker. 269 00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:25,195 Being Amish is about commitment to God and community. 270 00:13:25,195 --> 00:13:28,416 It is about submission to a power higher than yourself. 271 00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:29,765 Submission? 272 00:13:29,765 --> 00:13:32,637 Look, I know Richard has proven to be a bit... 273 00:13:32,637 --> 00:13:34,596 egotistical... in the past, but-- 274 00:13:34,596 --> 00:13:37,338 He says, "You're welcome," when he orgasms. 275 00:13:39,427 --> 00:13:41,298 Now, Sonja, we go on Rumspringa 276 00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:43,300 to experience the life of the English. 277 00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:47,043 It is only fair to allow them to experience our life. 278 00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:51,482 Come. Mayhap Samuel Samuelson could use their assistance 279 00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:53,484 in the cooperage. 280 00:13:53,484 --> 00:13:55,138 Olaf-- 281 00:13:55,138 --> 00:13:58,881 Look, I know we have a long way to go, but Richard can change... 282 00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:00,100 for you! 283 00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:02,493 You just watch me evolve! 284 00:14:02,493 --> 00:14:04,539 Ooh! 285 00:14:13,287 --> 00:14:15,332 FITZ: You're holding it wrong. 286 00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:17,378 How can I be holding it wrong? 287 00:14:17,378 --> 00:14:19,423 Just do the exact opposite of what you're doing right now. 288 00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:23,384 It's like that effing Ikea shelf all over again. 289 00:14:23,384 --> 00:14:24,689 [Laughing] 290 00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:26,300 Thought you fuckers were supposed to be humble. 291 00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,476 Oh, we are humble, 292 00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:31,261 but we also enjoy some good-natured buffoonery. 293 00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:35,613 I'm sure there is a simpler task you could attempt. 294 00:14:35,613 --> 00:14:39,356 Let's see how you do drilling some bungholes. 295 00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:42,055 What the fuck did you just say to me? 296 00:14:42,055 --> 00:14:44,535 This. A bunghole. 297 00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:46,363 You trying to start something, "Little House on the Fairy"? 298 00:14:46,363 --> 00:14:49,497 Of course not. 299 00:14:49,497 --> 00:14:51,107 Richard, the Amish don't fight. 300 00:14:51,107 --> 00:14:53,762 Maybe it's time they learned. 301 00:14:53,762 --> 00:14:56,025 SONJA: Mr. Fitz? Larry? 302 00:14:56,025 --> 00:14:58,071 Why don't you help out the women in the orchard? 303 00:14:58,071 --> 00:14:59,246 [Snickering] 304 00:14:59,246 --> 00:15:00,682 Women's work... 305 00:15:10,561 --> 00:15:12,302 Have I offended? 306 00:15:20,789 --> 00:15:25,446 We have discussed it at length, and we've come to a decision. 307 00:15:25,446 --> 00:15:27,274 Yeah, well I've made a decision too. 308 00:15:27,274 --> 00:15:28,840 Uh, you're leaving? 309 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,712 Well, I'm certainly not sticking around here while you two 310 00:15:30,712 --> 00:15:33,976 ignore my obvious qualities worth fighting over. 311 00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:35,978 You see? This is why it would never work with her. 312 00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:38,850 She's unwilling to understand the ways of our people. 313 00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:41,810 We Pashtuns are passionate, but mostly non-violent. 314 00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:43,681 To steal a cousin's woman 315 00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:45,857 is almost as bad as stealing a cousin's livestock, 316 00:15:45,857 --> 00:15:50,253 yet we still try to find a peaceful solution. 317 00:15:50,253 --> 00:15:52,342 But if all of that fails, then we blow it up. 318 00:15:52,342 --> 00:15:55,519 If you loved me, you'd fight for me. 319 00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:58,740 A duel? 320 00:15:58,740 --> 00:16:01,786 I have not, and will never, cross swords with my cousin! 321 00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:12,623 There is something invigorating about a day of manual work, 322 00:16:12,623 --> 00:16:13,842 don't you think, Richard? 323 00:16:13,842 --> 00:16:15,757 To feel the soil in your hands, 324 00:16:15,757 --> 00:16:19,195 see the actual fruits of your labour, growing all around you. 325 00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:21,284 It makes me feel at one with the land. 326 00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:22,720 Good day, m'ladies. 327 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,070 I need a drink. 328 00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:25,549 No, Richard. The Amish abstain. 329 00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:27,073 There's gotta be something around here. 330 00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:29,031 Some fermented cider, turpentine... 331 00:16:29,031 --> 00:16:30,641 Ooh, magic mushrooms! 332 00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:32,904 No, don't! If those are poison, they could kill you. 333 00:16:32,904 --> 00:16:35,037 As long as they get me high. 334 00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:37,300 SONJA: I do not understand your reluctance. 335 00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:40,173 OLAF: Edith is a good woman, but she is impetuous. 336 00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:41,739 Good day, m'ladies. 337 00:16:41,739 --> 00:16:43,785 SONJA: She does not need your permission or her father's 338 00:16:43,785 --> 00:16:45,743 to buy what she wants. 339 00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:48,442 There will be no further discussion. My mind is made up. 340 00:16:48,442 --> 00:16:50,226 Edith needs a new buggy, 341 00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:52,489 and you are the best builder in the area. 342 00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:54,448 She is willing to pay. 343 00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:57,059 Your avarice grows in the presence of these English. 344 00:16:57,059 --> 00:17:00,454 Trouble in paradise? 345 00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:03,979 I am sorry you had to witness our heated discord. 346 00:17:03,979 --> 00:17:07,330 Our neighbour Edith requires a new method of conveyance. 347 00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:08,984 Sonja has spoken out of turn. 348 00:17:08,984 --> 00:17:11,291 So, build her the fucking buggy. That'd what I'd do. 349 00:17:11,291 --> 00:17:14,859 It takes months to craft a quality buggy. 350 00:17:14,859 --> 00:17:18,124 Caleb can help. He wants to learn. 351 00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:20,952 Caleb is not ready. 352 00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:24,565 Tell your friend she'll have her buggy by Friday. 353 00:17:24,565 --> 00:17:26,175 You are going to build her a buggy? 354 00:17:26,175 --> 00:17:27,176 Yeah. 355 00:17:27,176 --> 00:17:29,265 How? 356 00:17:32,007 --> 00:17:34,314 A used buggy? 357 00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:36,359 Our craftsmanship is all that we have. 358 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:38,405 We cannot allow the sale of anything but the best. 359 00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:41,190 Gosh, Olaf... sounds like pride to me. 360 00:17:49,285 --> 00:17:51,722 Have you even built a buggy before? 361 00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:53,985 Some new floorboards, a couple of new wheels, 362 00:17:53,985 --> 00:17:55,552 this baby'll be good to go, 363 00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:58,207 just like those go-karts I used to build when I was a kid. 364 00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:01,254 You... you stole those. 365 00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:03,038 So? 366 00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:04,213 Caleb can help me. 367 00:18:04,213 --> 00:18:06,563 Uh, Olaf says my training is not complete. 368 00:18:06,563 --> 00:18:07,695 Fuck Olaf. 369 00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:09,523 You know what your problem is? 370 00:18:09,523 --> 00:18:12,482 All you Amish, you got low self-esteem. 371 00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:16,007 We are humble in the eyes of God, Mr. Fitz. 372 00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:18,793 You wanna win, Caleb? You wanna be number one? 373 00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:21,143 You gotta believe in yourself. Christ, Sonja, 374 00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:23,276 how many times did I tell you to believe in yourself? 375 00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:25,016 Whenever you wanted oral. 376 00:18:25,016 --> 00:18:26,322 Every day. 377 00:18:26,322 --> 00:18:27,976 Oral? 378 00:18:27,976 --> 00:18:29,282 I'll... explain later. 379 00:18:29,282 --> 00:18:31,588 Much later. Never. 380 00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:35,114 Caleb, are you awesome? 381 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,637 I believe I am. 382 00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:38,291 Then say it. 383 00:18:38,291 --> 00:18:40,162 I am... awesome. 384 00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:41,859 Say it like you fucking mean it! 385 00:18:41,859 --> 00:18:43,252 I'm fucking awesome! 386 00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:46,386 Yeah! Fix that buggy! 387 00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:57,310 It is indeed a fine buggy, Sonja. Many thanks. 388 00:19:02,924 --> 00:19:05,318 Do you know what this means? 389 00:19:05,318 --> 00:19:08,190 Every farm has an old wreck. 390 00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:10,888 I can buy them; Caleb can rebuild them... 391 00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:13,195 You're gonna start your own thing? 392 00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:16,198 Is that so hard to believe? 393 00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:19,201 I'm actually quite capable, not that you would know. 394 00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:22,204 I know you're capable... and not just sexually. 395 00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:23,858 Who am I kidding? 396 00:19:23,858 --> 00:19:26,339 Nobody listens to me here, either... 397 00:19:26,339 --> 00:19:28,906 especially Olaf. 398 00:19:28,906 --> 00:19:31,909 All they do is make fun of my high cheek bones, 399 00:19:31,909 --> 00:19:33,259 and narrow hips. 400 00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:35,217 Ah, these backwood fucks 401 00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:37,045 wouldn't know a good business opportunity 402 00:19:37,045 --> 00:19:38,481 if it buried its face in your tits. 403 00:19:38,481 --> 00:19:41,702 Thank you... I think. 404 00:19:41,702 --> 00:19:45,271 There's a reason I came to find you, 405 00:19:45,271 --> 00:19:49,318 and not just to clear my name. 406 00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:51,407 Have you ever wondered if a decision you made 407 00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:55,194 was the biggest mistake of your life? 408 00:20:09,556 --> 00:20:12,907 Could someone please start? 409 00:20:12,907 --> 00:20:15,518 I believe you must kiss one of us. 410 00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:24,223 No offence. 411 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,225 Oh, none taken. 412 00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:31,273 Oh... uh... 413 00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:32,970 I'm confused by the mechanics. 414 00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:35,625 Should my hands be on you, 415 00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:38,324 or reaching around, to my cousin? 416 00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:43,154 Well, you hands-- Oh!--they may wander wherever they like. 417 00:20:43,154 --> 00:20:45,287 Then I apologize in advance 418 00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:47,420 if they are to grab where they're not supposed to. 419 00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:49,770 Don't apologize. It is okay. 420 00:20:53,904 --> 00:20:55,906 [Giggling and moaning] 421 00:21:02,696 --> 00:21:05,916 Hey! You didn't even notice I was gone! 422 00:21:05,916 --> 00:21:07,962 Fuck, man. 423 00:21:16,884 --> 00:21:18,581 Richard? Richard, it's Friday. 424 00:21:18,581 --> 00:21:21,236 Time to clear your name. 425 00:21:21,236 --> 00:21:22,716 Oh... Richard... 426 00:21:22,716 --> 00:21:24,631 What? 427 00:21:24,631 --> 00:21:28,287 Sonja... the whole point in staying here 428 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:31,638 was to learn a little lesson in humility from the Amish. 429 00:21:31,638 --> 00:21:34,031 You've done nothing to make amends with Sonja. 430 00:21:34,031 --> 00:21:35,163 I'd argue that. 431 00:21:35,163 --> 00:21:37,339 All you did was manipulate her into sex. 432 00:21:37,339 --> 00:21:40,255 I am my own person, thank you very much. 433 00:21:40,255 --> 00:21:44,128 Sonja... is this true? 434 00:21:44,128 --> 00:21:47,523 I am a strong, independent woman, 435 00:21:47,523 --> 00:21:50,439 and I can make my own choices, 436 00:21:50,439 --> 00:21:53,181 even if that means sleeping with an ex-boyfriend, 437 00:21:53,181 --> 00:21:56,053 while my fiancé... 438 00:21:56,053 --> 00:21:58,360 Oh, my God. What have I done? 439 00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:03,147 Olaf, please forgive me. 440 00:22:03,147 --> 00:22:06,542 Everything you touch, you corrupt. 441 00:22:06,542 --> 00:22:11,330 I have just received word... Edith has crashed her buggy. 442 00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:14,637 She's lucky to still be alive. 443 00:22:14,637 --> 00:22:16,247 A condition which you shall soon not share. 444 00:22:16,247 --> 00:22:20,339 Jesus, speak fucking English, chinstrap. 445 00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:23,211 It's time to end this. 446 00:22:23,211 --> 00:22:27,171 I am the archangel of justice, and I have come to smite thee. 447 00:22:27,171 --> 00:22:30,174 You tried to kill me before. 448 00:22:30,174 --> 00:22:32,438 You tried to kill all of us. 449 00:22:32,438 --> 00:22:35,528 Nope, just you, Fitzy. 450 00:22:35,528 --> 00:22:37,573 You held us all hostage, 451 00:22:37,573 --> 00:22:40,489 and terrorized everyone I care about. 452 00:22:40,489 --> 00:22:44,841 How could you be so... so... 453 00:22:44,841 --> 00:22:46,321 so much like him?! 454 00:22:46,321 --> 00:22:48,323 I am nothing like him. 455 00:22:48,323 --> 00:22:51,195 While you were off, testing your faith, 456 00:22:51,195 --> 00:22:53,763 I learned things on my Rumspringa... 457 00:22:53,763 --> 00:22:57,114 with the Christian Patriot Militia. 458 00:22:57,114 --> 00:22:59,290 Shoot first... 459 00:22:59,290 --> 00:23:00,944 Pray later. 460 00:23:00,944 --> 00:23:04,252 I've only got a couple of days left, and when I die, 461 00:23:04,252 --> 00:23:06,341 it's not gonna be in this pile of cow shit. 462 00:23:06,341 --> 00:23:09,213 If you want to kill him, 463 00:23:09,213 --> 00:23:12,826 you're gonna have to shoot me first. 464 00:23:12,826 --> 00:23:15,306 And me third! 465 00:23:17,308 --> 00:23:19,093 You... 466 00:23:19,093 --> 00:23:21,443 You would sacrifice yourself... 467 00:23:21,443 --> 00:23:22,444 for him? 468 00:23:22,444 --> 00:23:25,882 Deep down... 469 00:23:25,882 --> 00:23:28,798 I know he's worth saving. 470 00:23:39,069 --> 00:23:42,769 It's time for you to go. 471 00:23:42,769 --> 00:23:45,162 Elders will deal with you. 472 00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:50,341 I'm alive. I'm Amish, but alive. 473 00:23:50,341 --> 00:23:53,214 That's right. Sonja Lester. 474 00:23:53,214 --> 00:23:55,259 Thank you, goodbye. 475 00:23:57,305 --> 00:24:00,177 I just have to go to the police station and file a report, 476 00:24:00,177 --> 00:24:01,962 but you'll be fine. 477 00:24:01,962 --> 00:24:04,791 I guess I'll do that on "travel to the city day". 478 00:24:04,791 --> 00:24:08,925 Not today? 479 00:24:08,925 --> 00:24:13,190 Once I thought it was the plan... my plan... 480 00:24:13,190 --> 00:24:17,020 for us to be together, get married, have kids... 481 00:24:17,020 --> 00:24:19,240 Whoa... Kids... 482 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,243 But, now I know it'll never work between us. 483 00:24:22,243 --> 00:24:26,247 Because I don't have a future. 484 00:24:26,247 --> 00:24:28,858 That, and you're a bit of a selfish dick. 485 00:24:31,295 --> 00:24:34,211 I'm glad you're not dead. 486 00:24:34,211 --> 00:24:36,692 I'm glad you have Larry. 487 00:24:36,692 --> 00:24:38,389 He loves you as much as I do. 488 00:24:38,389 --> 00:24:41,305 You're already leaving me. You gotta kick me in the nuts too? 489 00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:57,757 What are you doing here? 490 00:24:57,757 --> 00:25:00,194 Sonja Lester just reported herself alive. 491 00:25:00,194 --> 00:25:02,979 Richard Fitzpatrick's off the hook. 492 00:25:02,979 --> 00:25:06,069 And let me guess, you're going to confess. 493 00:25:06,069 --> 00:25:10,987 Nope. But you probably will. 494 00:25:10,987 --> 00:25:13,512 Chester, you didn't frame anyone. 495 00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:16,340 I make my own decisions, and I decided to plant the knife. 496 00:25:16,340 --> 00:25:18,734 Did you really think you could stop me? 497 00:25:20,388 --> 00:25:22,912 Just remember... 498 00:25:22,912 --> 00:25:26,350 I'm the boss now. 499 00:25:31,878 --> 00:25:34,924 There must be something we can do, 500 00:25:34,924 --> 00:25:37,361 some action to ward off your impending doom. 501 00:25:37,361 --> 00:25:39,450 We can't just give up, Richard. 502 00:25:42,497 --> 00:25:44,281 Which way? 503 00:25:48,938 --> 00:25:51,941 [Cheering] 504 00:25:51,941 --> 00:25:53,987 Definitely that way. 505 00:26:00,123 --> 00:26:02,125 Ladies, Richard Fitzpatrick. 506 00:26:02,125 --> 00:26:09,132 ♪ 507 00:26:09,132 --> 00:26:13,049 ♪ Moon river 508 00:26:13,049 --> 00:26:16,226 ♪ Wider than a mile 509 00:26:16,226 --> 00:26:20,056 ♪ I'm crossing you in style 510 00:26:20,056 --> 00:26:24,844 ♪ Some day 511 00:26:24,844 --> 00:26:29,805 ♪ We're after the same 512 00:26:29,805 --> 00:26:34,680 ♪ Rainbow's end 513 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:38,553 ♪ Waitin' round the bend 514 00:26:38,553 --> 00:26:42,688 ♪ My huckleberry friend 515 00:26:42,688 --> 00:26:47,127 ♪ Moon river 516 00:26:47,127 --> 00:26:49,782 ♪ And me 517 00:26:49,782 --> 00:27:03,273 ♪ 518 00:27:04,231 --> 00:27:07,974 ♪ Waitin' round the bend 519 00:27:07,974 --> 00:27:12,108 ♪ My huckleberry friend 520 00:27:12,108 --> 00:27:16,635 ♪ Moon river 521 00:27:16,635 --> 00:27:19,507 ♪ And me